Monday 29 July 2013

note to self: I miss you terribly


Hi guys!

The last week has been a really hot and sticky one weatherwise, so all I could bear on my body was light breezy cotton. I dug out this simple striped button-down dress from the back of my closet because I hadn't worn it in years. I was curious if it would still fit after the weightloss and in fact it fits even better now because it's not so tight around the bust and waist anymore. Only added a brown skinny belt, brown flats and wore a braid to avoid sweaty strands of hair sticking to my neck.


On the outside I've been pretty simple lately, but on the inside it's been the exact opposite. I've been thinking a lot about who I used to be in the past and who I am now and I've been trying to find out who I want to be. In the last months many different new people have entered and also already left my life again, many more than I  ever got to know in the time before P broke up with me. I used to be a totally different person when I was in a relationship because I was conserved in this safe bubble for almost ten years. I've been observing my behaviour towards new acquaintances a lot and the thing is you could probably ask five people and they'd all give you different descriptions of who they think I am because I behaved differently towards each of them. Of course it's nice to be able to choose who you want to be and to have the possibility of letting different sides of your personality out. And yes of course you sometimes adapt to other person's character because you know that for example not everyonne understands your sense of humour or your opinion about sensitive issues or whatever...
But somehow it's pretty hard to find out who you are and where you're heading when you are so caught between two stools concerning your behaviour.


I know many people say this about themselves, but I am an honest person and I appreciate it when others are honest too. But the problem is that most people can't handle honesty, even if it's carefully worded - and then you hold back certain things you'd like to say because you don't know if they could come across the wrong way. This confuses me.
Normally you should go for it and say "Alright, this is how I am, either you like it or not." - but sometimes there are people you would like to get to know better first and then you are afraid of scaring them off with being yourself and with being honest, because in the back of your mind it says "Once they know you better, they will like you the way you really are, until then try to hold back." This is actually bullshit because you're fooling them and yourself.... Still I catch myself thinking and doing this way too often.
People confuse me. Maybe I should move to a desolate place and become a hermit who only talks to her dog and plants. This would actually be quite relaxing for my brain...

These are the thoughts for the day. Anyone can relate to that? Or am I being too quirky about this and everything's easier than it seems?






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32 comments:

  1. ich hatte dieses kleid auch mal, aber meins hatte glaube ich dreiviertelaermel?

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  2. This is the perfect simple look, love the striped shirtdress!!!
    It's interesting how your view of yourself changes once you're single, I've noticed changes in myself over the past year being alone
    xJennaD

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  3. Wow! very very fantastic ;)

    http://linde-lo.blogspot.com/

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  4. Being in a relationship must put you into some serious patterns right? I can imagine that getting used to change must be very difficult. Something changed in my life recently, not relationship wise but education/future wise & I feel like a total different person since then. I am thinking & doubting myself so much more & I'm hoping slowly that I can go back to my old self which was less thinking & more doing. Now that I'm doe with the heavy stuff, I LOVE this look. I've been very attracted to neutrals lately. It looks so light, comfy, breezy but also quite sexy ;) The hair is lovely too, I've been thinking of doing my hair similarly because it's raining a lot here which is causing my hair to get crazy with the humidity!

    Magali
    style.magalic.com

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  5. Lovely outfit! I totally understand what you mean in regards to acting totally yourself around new friends & even when I'm trying to be "totally myself" with new people, I think I am probably holding some things back. Anyway, I love your dress! :)

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  6. super cute dress !! also, love your hair :) xx

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  7. Lovely, I like your dress. (:

    www.anetesdomas.blogspot.com

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  8. I love your bangs! Pretty simple look :)

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  9. Beautiful!
    Such a lovely and stylish outfit.

    Ivana
    xo

    Rue de Tres Chic

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  10. Was für ein schönes, schönes Kleid. Ich mag so simple Sachen ganz gern, da braucht man dann auch gar nichts weiter kombinieren.
    Sieht super an dir aus!

    -Kati

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  11. Oh man, ich finde deine Haarfarbe soooo toll!! :) Trau mich nicht auch sowas "extremes" mit meinen Haaren zu machen... :P
    Der Look ist super!! Ich liebe so cleane Outfits mit hübschen Details!! :)
    lg aus MÜnchen

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  12. you look so pretty <3
    kisses

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  13. love how feminine and effortlessly chic this outfit is!! :D you're so pretty!

    Animated Confessions

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  14. Great post, your blog is truly amazing! It's the last chance to join my summer give away party, I really hope you will join <3 Love, Anna

    www.fashionanna.com

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  16. I like this dress, and you look fantastic. I want a same dress, i totally love it. *.*

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  17. simple yet gorgeous look :) Also kinda loving your hair, it's so bright! :)

    Hayfa
    http://chic-and-cliche.blogspot.co.uk

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  18. I truly understand! I hope you find out who you want to be, the journey is always one with ups and downs! I know it will work out wonderfully!
    Love your dress and it is perfect for beating the heat! Your braided hair is the perfect touch!

    Rebecca
    www.winnipegstyle.ca

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  19. Great photos!

    By the way, I want to invite to attend my first giveaway! Giveaway Here

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  20. This outfit is so pretty and that dress looks great on you! I love how the belt and flats match! Lovely dear :)

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  21. Toller Look und ich mag deine Haare <3
    Dein Blog gefällt mir echt gut. Hast du vielleicht Lust auf ggs verfolgen? Würde mich freuen!
    Liebe Grüße
    Sarah

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  22. Amazing outfit...amazing post.
    I totally agree

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  23. You're so cute! I just discovered you blog, and now I'm following along!

    ♥Brooke
    http://youreinbrookelynn.blogspot.com/

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  24. Sehr schönes Kleid und tolle Ballerinas - diese Art von Kleidern trage ich im Sommer auch total gerne. :)

    Liebst, Sara.

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Thank you so much for your comments, I really appreciate every single one! <3

 

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