I gave you something you can never give back

Hi guys!

It finally is autumn now. Regular readers might already know that all summer long I've been raving about how I love autumn and how I'm looking forward to wearing jumpers and scarves and tights again - well it's that time again now. Thank God the heat is over. I don't have to worry about how my pale legs with the hammy calves look in shorts, I don't have to think about how to best divert people's gazes from my red birthmarks on the leg to other more pleasant body parts. Also I don't have to be grumpy about sweating what feels like thirty litres an hour (and runining my hair with it), suffering from insect bites or heat rashes everyday and so on...

I could name you a thousand more reasons why I love autumn/winter so much, but let's just stick to the most important one: the atmosphere.

The transition from mildly warm summer nights with sunlight lingering on the horizon until 10 pm to crisp cool autumn nights with cloudy skies and rain has come pretty quickly now. Last week it was still summer here, this week it's clearly autumn. There is the smell of rain and wet fallen leaves in the air, a gloomy feeling about these drab and misty days. A little drizzle here, a little thunder and lightning there.

But it's also the season of golden trees, leaves and sunsets, all shimmering in different shades of red, brown and yellow. The season of taking a walk through the forest in a cozy jacket and rubber boots or roam the city and enjoy the smell of pumpkin-flavoured food and drinks on every corner.

It's time to put up candles at home, spread out warm blankets, hang lanterns into the windows, dig out the wool socks and favourite books for a little reading session in the armchair with a hot cup of cocoa and some cookies while outside in the dark the wind is blowing fallen leaves through the streets.

The whole atmosphere is getting cozier, that's what I love most.

Of course I can also paint lots of beautiful summer pictures in my head, but they are by far not as pleasant to me as all the autumnal thoughts. I could happily drown in them at the moment. 

You might wonder why I never complain about the cold as much as I do about summer heat. Well, I feel like I'm a rather cold person. Might sound strange at first, but let me explain: I can be a pretty cheerful and friendly person on the outside. I am polite, helpful, interested in lots of stuff, talkative, outgoing - but the people who see me like that only know less than half of the truth about me. I'm not saying I'm fake, definitely not, but I have my secrets, I have profound thoughts in my head that can make me get lost in the deep dark endless space of my brain. I like to think a lot, downright brood over all sorts of things. I like to be alone with my thoughts and observe the world and the people in it from a distant point of view.

That's why. Cold clear winter air lets me see things clearer and I like dressing for cold weather and covering up because it is similar to what I do with my mind most often. I cover it up and only let certain parts show - like when you wrap yourself up in warm garments but let certain parts like the face an hands free to be able to see, hear, grab etc.

I could go on about this for hours, try to explain how I feel about my relation to the dark season, but my observations and interpretations would probably be endless (oh yes I am truly a philosopher), so I will stop here.

By the way don't get me wrong, for the most part I'm a happy and balanced person, I just wanted to explain that there also is an other side of me that does not really show in public very often, not in actual public when I'm with other people and also not in virtual public here on the blog.

So don't worry, I'm fine. I need this gloomy side to balance my positive one. Ying and Yang so to speak.

As the outfit is not really spectacular, I hope you at least like how I tried to put the contrast of knit, lace and leather into focus in the photos. This look involves something old (the jacket), something new (the jumper) and something blue (the jeans) - but nothing borrowed, so screw the wedding analogy. It was just this Placebo songtext coming to my mind: "something borrowed, something blue, every me and every you".

Anyway, enough said for today. The only thing I would like to add is that this is my new favourite jumper of all times! It's so soft and comfy and cozy! I love the mottled black and white and the asymmetrical shape and the overall effortlessly cool style of it. It's from the recent H&M collection, matter of expense: 19,95 €. I say buy it because it's perfect!

Have a good day everyone!

 

now playing: the 1975 - me